Hail Be To Xenu
What’s not to like about Scientology? What a fun question, simply because it’s one of the most amusing religions out there.
Let’s look at why:
In Scientology doctrine created by a science fiction writer Ron Hubbard. Xenu (also Xemu) is an alien ruler of the “Galactic Confederacy” who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of aliens to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to wreak chaos and havoc today.
I’m honestly not even sure why I have to mock this pile of trash for being so clearly ficticious, but, you can never underestimate the power of stupidity. According to them, there’s 8,000,000 followers, of course, actual census shows their numbers are closer to….. 60,000.. doesn’t that suck eh? But anyway, since irReligion is all about debunking the ludicrous concepts presented by religions I feel compelled to point out the sheer stupidities that are Scientology.
Apparently it’s not clearly obvious to it’s followers that Captain Hubbard (he’s not really a pirate captain, he just pretends.. Yarr!) came up with this religion purely for profit
And Now, For some amazing Quotes! (Who doesn’t love quotes? I sure do)
Ron Hubbard
We are slowly and carefully teaching the unholy a lesson. It is as follows: We are not a law enforcement agency. BUT we will become interested in the crimes of people who seek to stop us. If you oppose scientology we promptly look up – and find and expose – your crimes. If you leave us alone we will leave you alone.
Ron Hubbard
Make money. Make more money. Make other people make money.
It’s great to see the only response they can come up with when people criticize them is “WHAT IS YOUR CRIME?!“. Honestly, this religion is surreal in it’s complete stupidity. But let’s be fair, this religion was created by a crackhead/failed writer who just wanted to make a quick buck; when you compare it to other religions like Christianity or Islam who have had thousands of years to work out the kinks and refine their brainwashing techniques, it becomes obvious why Scientology seems so feeble.
Jan 05, 2007 @ 15:30:08
What bothers me is that Jenna Elfman refused to sign a photo for kids with AIDS because it is a “state of mind” and not a true virus.
They say Scientology is an alternative to psychology, not religion. Why do they rejct Christianity…or whatever religion they were raised? So, then, it is a cult…err…I mean religion.
Aug 11, 2007 @ 16:52:02
Yeah, it’s a cult. I’ve had my own experiences with CSI [Church of Scientology International]. Bunch of crazies.
Of course, I’m a bit crazy myself, which is probably why I managed to do what I did to them.
Aug 17, 2007 @ 03:58:37
What did you do to them?
Aug 21, 2007 @ 22:46:37
I went the full nine yards, created an alter ego, and inquired about joining up with them. I wanted to see if they were as bad as people said.
It’s a long story, I don’t feel like typing it all up, nor would I want to go stealing the spotlight or anything. But the highlights of what I did were:
1.) Attempted seduction by a blonde bimbo whose shirt was so tight, I could see her nipples. Also, those breasts? Too big to be real. Also, she bounced. A lot. Ensured me we could get together if I joined, too.
2.) Listened to some crappy elevator music which apparently had the subliminal message “join us” playing at a slightly lower volume than the music itself.
3.) Got stalked for a while; I know it was them, because the guy who followed me, I saw in the building. Plus, I doubt he would go to several stores and buy nothing, just like I did, at the same time I did.
4.) Was outright chased when I tried to ditch the dude following me. And I did; got on a train, and he didn’t have the money for a ticket. hah!
Thatw as a while ago, though, and I’m happy to report that I have not been harassed. I do not, however, condone this kind of activity; you could get yourself in trouble.