Fun With the Bible

Do you live your life according to the Bible? Do you think the Bible doesn’t contradict it’self? Do you know someone that works on Sundays? You better kill the fucker or God will get very mad at you and possibly have to send you to hell for eternity!

From the good book written by our Lord and God, Exodus 35:2

For six days work may be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a holy day, a sabbath of complete rest to the LORD; whoever does any work on it shall be put to death.

Nope, that totally doesn’t contradict anything else written in the Bible eh? I love it when people say lines like “the bible is the word of God and doesn’t contradict it’self”. If the bible really was the word of God, why:

a) would he be using the language of mere mortals? shouldn’t he be using some perfect mothod of communication, fit only for the gods?

b) would there be *any* flaws in what he said? God is supposed to be perfect, so anything he says should be perfect as well, meaning no contradictions.

c) would he need humans to do his bidding? if God is as powerful as people claim him to be, then he should surely be fully capable of killing heathens himself, right?

Incase you didn’t catch the bit about contradiction, I’ll highlight an onscure passage from the good book, in fact, the exact same chapter as the sunday quote; Exodus 20:13:

You shall not murder.

I guess this is one of those gray areas where we just gotta use out best judgement and instead, kill people when we feel like it or something. Since clearly murder is an action condoned by God himself when people blashpeme.