Top 12 Reasons Gay Marriage Is Un-American

*drum roll please*

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That’s why we only have one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
  10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.


It Must Rock Going To Christian Universities

Oh man, why didn’t I go to Bob Jones University? I totally would have loved it. I feel like making a road trip down there and walking around on campus with a “Christ Punchers” T-Shirt on (thanks Moe Sizlak for that one).

Something to keep in mind, this is a University, not a high school. How crazy is this shit?

Student Expectations At Bob Jones

General Dress

Hair must be cut in a traditional, conservative style–not shaved, spiked, tangled, or shelved. It may not be colored or highlighted.

Sideburns should not extend past the middle of the ear. Men are expected to remain clean-shaven.

Necklaces, earrings, and bracelets are not permitted.

Hats may not be worn indoors except in the gym.

Men are not permitted to get tattoos or wear body piercings.

Abercrombie & Fitch and its subsidiary Hollister have shown an unusual degree of antagonism to the name of Christ and an unusual display of wickedness in their promotions. In protest, we will not allow articles displaying their logos to be worn, carried, or displayed (even if covered or masked in some way).

Dress Code for Women

Classroom/general dress consists of a dress or top and skirt; however, pants may be worn for some recreational activities. Shorts may never be worn outside the residence halls and fitness center.

Steves Agree – Evoluion Is Correct

Creationists love to say that Evolution is increasingly questioned by scientists, they’re full of shit. He’s a group of scientists, all with the name Steve (more than 800 of them) that agree with the theory of evolution.

Project Steve

Evolution is a vital, well-supported, unifying principle of the biological sciences, and the scientific evidence is overwhelmingly in favor of the idea that all living things share a common ancestry. Although there are legitimate debates about the patterns and processes of evolution, there is no serious scientific doubt that evolution occurred or that natural selection is a major mechanism in its occurrence. It is scientifically inappropriate and pedagogically irresponsible for creationist pseudoscience, including but not limited to “intelligent design,” to be introduced into the science curricula of our nation’s public schools.

Project Steve mocks this practice with a bit of humor, and because “Steves” are only about 1% of scientists, it incidentally makes the point that tens of thousands of scientists support evolution. And it honors the late Stephen Jay Gould, NCSE supporter and friend.

We’d like to think that after Project Steve, we’ll have seen the last of bogus “scientists doubting evolution” lists, but it’s probably too much to ask. We do hope that at least when such lists are proposed, reporters and other citizens will ask, “but how many Steves are on your list!?”

Creationist Nonsense

 I’m waiting for Creationist American magazine to put out their response with a list of 1 Answers to Scientific Nonsense, where their entire article is answer is “1. God”.

15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense

1. Evolution is only a theory. It is not a fact or a scientific law.

Many people learned in elementary school that a theory falls in the middle of a hierarchy of certainty–above a mere hypothesis but below a law. Scientists do not use the terms that way, however. According to the National Academy of Sciences (NAS), a scientific theory is “a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world that can incorporate facts, laws, inferences, and tested hypotheses.” No amount of validation changes a theory into a law, which is a descriptive generalization about nature. So when scientists talk about the theory of evolution–or the atomic theory or the theory of relativity, for that matter–they are not expressing reservations about its truth.

In addition to the theory of evolution, meaning the idea of descent with modification, one may also speak of the fact of evolution. The NAS defines a fact as “an observation that has been repeatedly confirmed and for all practical purposes is accepted as ‘true.'” The fossil record and abundant other evidence testify that organisms have evolved through time. Although no one observed those transformations, the indirect evidence is clear, unambiguous and compelling.

All sciences frequently rely on indirect evidence. Physicists cannot see subatomic particles directly, for instance, so they verify their existence by watching for telltale tracks that the particles leave in cloud chambers. The absence of direct observation does not make physicists’ conclusions less certain.

Mohammad The Dog

I wonder if I could get a bounty on my head as well..  Let’s try:

Mohammad was a dog, and by that I mean Mohammad bathed in pig’s blood and loved getting drunk while watching gay porn. Booya!

Artist defiantly draws Prophet Mohammed

HOGANAS, Sweden (CNN) — Swedish artist Lars Vilks says all he’s doing is taking a stand in the name of artistic expression. But because of that stand, on this afternoon he’s lying low — on the ground, in fact — looking for bombs under his car.

Al Qaeda has put a $100,000 price on his head and offered an extra $50,000 for anyone who murders him by slitting his throat after the eccentric artist and sculptor drew a cartoon depicting the Prophet Mohammed as a dog.

“I don’t think it should not be a problem to insult a religion, because it should be possible to insult all religions in a democratic way, ” says Vilks from his home in rural Sweden.

“If you insult one, then you should insult the other ones.”

His crude, sketched caricature shows the head of Prophet Mohammed on the body of a dog. Dogs are considered unclean by conservative Muslims, and any depiction of the prophet is strictly forbidden.

Vilks, who has been a controversial artist for more than three decades in Sweden, says his drawing was a calculated move, and he wanted it to elicit a reaction.

Vatican official: Let’s Have Gay Sex – But I’m Not Gay..

 Nothing like being a self righteous asshat that tells others that being gay is wrong, then turning around and having gay sex.. or at least, pulling a Larry Craig. But don’t worry, when you get caught asking for gay sex, just deny being gay!

Vatican Official Insists He’s Not Gay

VATICAN CITY (AP) — A Vatican official suspended after being caught on hidden camera making advances to a young man says he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work.

In an interview published Sunday, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico told La Repubblica daily he frequented online gay chat rooms and met with gay men as part of his work as a psychoanalyst. He said that he pretended to be gay in order to gather information about “those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity.”

Vatican teaching holds that gays and lesbians should be treated with compassion and dignity but that homosexual acts are “intrinsically disordered.”

The Vatican said Saturday it was suspending Stenico after he was secretly filmed making advances to a young man and asserting that gay sex was not sinful during a television program on gay priests broadcast Oct. 1 on La7, a private Italian television network.

While Stenico’s face was blurred in the footage, church officials recognized his Vatican office in the background and suspended him pending a church investigation.

There have long been allegations that there are gays in the Roman Catholic priesthood, but the Stenico case is unusual because he is a relatively high-ranking Vatican official. He heads an office in the Vatican’s Congregation for Clergy — the main office overseeing all the world’s priests.

The case comes at a particularly sensitive time, just two years after the Vatican issued tough new guidelines effectively barring gays from the priesthood — seen in large part as a response to complaints about a “gay subculture” in U.S. seminaries.

No More Government Money For Louisiana Churches

I’m glad I’m a member of the ACLU. Who else would try to enforce the constitution..  the government? Hah.

Judges blocks state government money for two north La. churches

NEW ORLEANS (AP) — A federal judge blocked state government payments to two churches in northwest Louisiana, saying they violate the constitutional division between church and state because the budget doesn’t say what the money will be used for.

U.S. District Judge Sarah Vance sided with the American Civil Liberties Union, which filed a lawsuit in August to stop the payments, which aren’t tied to certain programs, but to the churches themselves.

“This government favoritism toward certain churches, together with the lack of a specific secular purpose for the funds, violates constitutional requirements that such government aid be for a secular purpose and not foster excessive government entanglement with religion,” Vance wrote in her Oct. 5 ruling.

Vance issued a preliminary injunction barring the money from moving from the state treasury to Stonewall Baptist Church in Bossier City and Shreveport Christian Church until a trial is held.