Top 12 Reasons Gay Marriage Is Un-American
*drum roll please*
http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/gaymarriage.html
- Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
- Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
- Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
- Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That’s why we only have one religion in America.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
- Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
- Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.
Monday October 29th, 2007 @ 3:38pm
Wow. Talk about a bunch of bullshit. People that are stupid enough to say this, or beleive it, should be executed, for the sake of the gene pool.
Wednesday October 31st, 2007 @ 9:24am
I think it’s a joke actually. ;)
(take it with a grain of salt)
Monday November 12th, 2007 @ 8:49pm
The Shane, you should be executed for the sake of the gene pool if you didn’t catch that it is a joke. Dumbass.
Tuesday November 13th, 2007 @ 4:43pm
Yup, Shane is a dumbass
Monday November 19th, 2007 @ 4:43am
Oh, I know it’s a joke. What I meant was, the people that don’t get that this is a joke (those who read it and assume it is true, or someone that actually SAYS this, and claims it to be true) should be executed.
Friday November 30th, 2007 @ 6:00pm
I don’t think anyone should be executed. A simple punch to the mouth shoud suffice. Even the most ignorant gay bashers deserve another chance.
Monday January 28th, 2008 @ 2:29pm
I think you are a close minded ass hole.. Gay people should have the right to be happy jsut like everyone else..
Saturday June 7th, 2008 @ 6:16pm
ok,
1. eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are all inventions, homosexuality is not.
2. Infertile couples and old people at least function in the way to produce children; homos don’t.
3. Maybe all straight couples don’t raise straight children, but 90% of their children are. so therefore 90% of gay couples’ children will be gay too.
4. Who said britney spears is the epidemy of straight marriage? good one.
5. The bottom line is, this country was founded on heterosexuality.
6. I don’t agree with
7. Show me one religion that supports gay marriage.
8. This is the dumbest one of all. Hanging around tall people and becoming tall is a physical impossibility. Hanging around gay people and becoming gay is not.
9. No one is going to marry a dog
10. That one is just a dumb argument on the straight side
11. Another dumb straight argument, i’ll give you that
12. I don’t agree with 12
Tuesday November 9th, 2010 @ 6:54pm
>4. Who said britney spears is the epidemy of straight marriage? good one.
What’s an “epidemy”?
>7. Show me one religion that supports gay marriage.
Just one? Buddhism.
>9. No one is going to marry a dog
People have married much sillier things. Themselves, roller coasters, snakes, dolphins, the Eiffel Tower, video games… I could go on, but I’ve already proved my point.
Monday June 9th, 2008 @ 2:09pm
>3. Maybe all straight couples don’t raise straight children, but 90% of their children are. so therefore 90% of gay couples’ children will be gay too.
You have some proof to back up this bullshit claim?
>5. The bottom line is, this country was founded on heterosexuality.
What? Go find me a letter written by any of the founding fathers that talks about homosexuality or heterosexuality for that matter.
Monday February 9th, 2009 @ 11:49am
i see that it’s a joke i think it’s quite clever. I want to print it and use it in the gsa in my school