blessed

Blessed be the mobile phone users and those called the children of iPod

, , , , , , , 0 Comments

You mean I can have the equivalent of a reverse voodoo hex placed on my electronics?! Nice! This will surely improve my ipod/iphone in a significant and noticeable way!

Blessed be the mobile phone users and those called the children of iPod

Two hymns had been sung and the sermon preached when the Rev Canon David Parrott lifted his right hand to begin the blessing of the smart phones.

The congregation at St Lawrence Jewry in the City of London raised their mobiles and iPods above their heads and Canon Parrott raised his voice to the heavens to address the Lord God of all Creation. “May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible,” he said.

Great efforts have been made to modernise the Church of England, but its liturgy dates from before the arrival of the Nokia 6310, and until yesterday, none had been brave enough to adapt its ceremonies to address the modern mysteries of 3G network coverage, iPhone apps and variable battery life.

But if anyone can, the Canon can. Even before he came to St Lawrence Jewry, Canon Parrott was known for his dynamic approach. In his former parish, he once dressed up as a Christmas tree to promote the message of Christmas.

Yesterday, in the church of the City of London Corporation, he presented an updated version of Plow Monday, an observance that dates from medieval times. On this day, the first Monday after Twelfth Night, farm labourers would bring a plough to the door of the church to be blessed.

“When I arrived a few months ago I looked at this service and thought, ‘Why do we have a Plow Monday?’,” Canon Parrott said. Men and women coming to his church no longer used ploughs; their tools were their laptops, their iPhones and their BlackBerries.

So he wrote a blessing and strode out to deliver it before a congregation of eighty, the white heat of technology shining from his every pronouncement. “I invite you to have your mobile phone out … though I would like you to put it on silent,” he said.

This was Church 2.0. Behind him, the altar resembled a counter at PC World. Upon it, laid out like holy relics, were four smart phones, one Apple laptop and one Dell.

When he stepped up to deliver his sermon, the melody of a million ringtones played on the organ. One almost expected Canon Parrott to bellow: “Hello! I’m just giving a service!”

Instead, he expounded upon some verses from Exodus that contained a lesson “which is exactly what the Corporation of London’s training department is delivering in their sessions and teamwork today”.

Then, after another hymn, came the blessing of the smart phones. The Lord Mayor of London offered his BlackBerry to Canon Parrott, which was received with due reverence and placed upon the altar.

Then the congregation held their phones in the air, and Canon Parrott addressed the Almighty. “By your blessing, may these phones and computers, symbols of all the technology and communication in our daily lives, be a reminder to us that you are a God who communicates with us and who speaks by your Word. Amen.”

Worshippers left the church to return to their desks and computers, a place where the Word is not the living gospel but a piece of software that formats documents.

Colin Ashcroft, 47, who works in IT, said that he had been pleased to be remembered directly in the prayers. Did he sense the presence of God within the operations of mobile phone software? “Certainly it has a mind of its own sometimes,” he said. “Whether that’s God or not I don’t know.”

Others felt uncomfortable. Rita Bullough, 60, a retired secretary, said that she found the blessing “quite amusing” and she was not sure if amusement had any place within a church service. “I wasn’t entirely comfortable with it,” she said.

Nick Anstee, the Lord Mayor was delighted, however. “My BlackBerry is two years old but it’s a fantastic model,” he said. Now it was also a blessed instrument.

“I was asked whether I had a message during the service,” he said. “I will check later, though I don’t suppose He has provided the message.”

Even on a good day, the Vodafone network does not stretch quite that far.

Thanks to JT for this one

Palin once blessed to be free from ‘witchcraft’

, , , , , , , , 0 Comments

Good thing she did, we can’t very well have a vice president flying around on magical brooms, now can we?

Palin once blessed to be free from ‘witchcraft’

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – A grainy YouTube video surfaced Wednesday showing Sarah Palin being blessed in her hometown church three years ago by a Kenyan pastor who prayed for her protection from “witchcraft” as she prepared to seek higher office.

The video shows Palin standing before Bishop Thomas Muthee in the pulpit of the Wasilla Assembly of God church, holding her hands open as he asked Jesus Christ to keep her safe from “every form of witchcraft.”

“Come on, talk to God about this woman. We declare, save her from Satan,” Muthee said as two attendants placed their hands on Palin’s shoulders. “Make her way my God. Bring finances her way even for the campaign in the name of Jesus. … Use her to turn this nation the other way around.”

Palin filed campaign papers a few months later, in October 2005, and was elected governor the next year.

Palin does not say anything on the video and keeps her head bowed throughout the blessing. The Republican vice presidential candidate was baptized at the church but stopped attending regularly in 2002.

A spokesman for the McCain campaign declined to comment. A person who answered the phone at the Wasilla church confirmed the video was from May 2005 but declined further comment.

Palin was baptized Roman Catholic as a newborn.

Pentecostals are conservative in their reading of the Bible. Unlike most other Christians — including most evangelicals — Pentecostals believe in “baptism in the Holy Spirit.” That can manifest itself through speaking in tongues, modern-day prophesy and faith healing, which includes the laying on of hands.

Maria Comella, a spokeswoman for the McCain-Palin campaign, has said Palin attends different churches and does not consider herself Pentecostal.

On a visit to the church in June 2008, Palin spoke fondly of the Kenyan pastor and told a group of young missionaries that Muthee’s prayers had helped her to become governor.

“Pastor Muthee was here and he was praying over me, and you know how he speaks and he’s so bold,” she said. “And he was praying ‘Lord make a way, Lord make a way’ … He said, ‘Lord make a way and let her do this next step.’ And that’s exactly what happened.”

The Rev. Zipporah Ndiritu, who studied under Muthee in the Kiambu, Kenya-based Word of Faith Church, said the bishop is revered among evangelicals there. In a phone interview from Mombasa, Kenya, she said church doctrine focuses on ridding the world of demons — and witches.

“Even in the days of Jesus Christ, according to the Bible there were witches who were manifesting through demonic forces,” she said. “You can seek from the Lord, and if you find demonic forces you cast them out.”

Ndiritu said she did not know Palin.