Iowan Gay Marriage Blowout Sale!

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Note to all Gay Iowans, if you want to get married, better hurry up and do it before some council convenes and has this temporary victory overturned!

*gets handed paper*

Sorry, too late, it’s been overturned.

Judge Halts Same-Sex Marriages In Iowa

DES MOINES, Iowa Two men were married outside a minister’s home in the state’s first legal same-sex wedding Friday morning, less than 24 hours after a judge threw out Iowa’s ban on gay marriage.

A minister married two men outside his Iowa home Friday morning, sealing the state’s first legal same-sex wedding. Less than 24 hours earlier, a judge had thrown out Iowa’s ban on gay marriage.

The Rev. Mark Stringer declared college students Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan legally wed.

It was narrow window of opportunity.

At 11 a.m., after about 20 gay couples had applied for marriage licenses, the Polk County Recorder announced that she had been instructed to stop accepting their applications.

Recorder Julie Haggerty said the instruction came from the county attorney’s office after Judge Robert Hanson, the same judge who threw out the ban on Thursday, verbally issued a stay of his ruling at the county’s request. Hanson was expected to file the written ruling later in the day, his clerk said.

God Is A Psychopath

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Has anyone ever thought before:

If God really does love me, why then would he threaten me with eternal damnation in hell where I will be tortured and burned until the end of time?

I personally have come to the conclusion that God clearly has no fucking clue as to what love is. Love isn’t about getting your way, and when you don’t you not only hate the subject of your love, but you want to torture and destroy it. I actually find it quite disturbing that there are many people out there that actually buy into that crap, do none of these people know what love really is?

Anyone that believes that god really loves them, but would send you to hell if you ever decided not to praise and worship him not only has no concept of love, but should seriously consider going to a psychiatrist, that’s just psychopathic thinking.

psychopathy

1.a mental disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.

God Told Me To Have Sex With My Daughters!

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Yes, I understand, this is a totally normal practice and I feel I was justified cause it was the “godly” thing to do!

Pastor had sex with daughters

A fundamentalist church pastor had sex with two of his teenage daughters to educate them on how to be good wives, a South Australian court has heard.

The 54-year-old man, who cannot be named, was today sentenced in the SA District Court to eight and a half years jail after pleading guilty to seven counts each of incest and unlawful sexual intercourse.

The court heard that the man had sex with his daughters for nearly a decade from 1991 when they were aged 13 and 15 at the family property.

The sex took place at various locations including in a shearer’s shed, a paddock, on the back of a ute and, on one occasion, at the girls’ grandparents house.

The man told the court the sex was not about fulfilling his desires but about teaching his daughters how to behave for their husbands when they eventually married, as dictated in scripture.

May God Kill Everyone Who Disagrees With Me, Amen.

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Everyone should get a good look at what a piece of shit looks like, and here he is:

Pastor asks followers to pray for the death of his critics

Wiley S. DrakeWiley S. Drake, a Buena Park pastor and a former national leader of the Southern Baptist Convention, called on his followers to pray for the deaths of two leaders of Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

The request was in response to the liberal group’s urging the IRS on Tuesday to investigate Drake’s church’s nonprofit status because Drake endorsed former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee for president on church letterhead and during a church-affiliated Internet radio show.

Drake said Wednesday he was “simply doing what God told me to do” by targeting Americans United officials Joe Conn and Jeremy Leaming, whom he calls the “enemies of God.”

“God says to pray imprecatory prayer against people who attack God’s church,” he said. “The Bible says that if anybody attacks God’s people, David said this is what will happen to them. . . . Children will become orphans and wives will become widows.”

Imprecatory prayers are alternately defined as praying for someone’s misfortune, or an appeal to God for justice.

Religion of the Year Award

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Alright, I know you’ve all heard of Pastafarianism and all that, but there’s one religion I think many of us have overlooked.

This one was invented by George Carlin:

Frisbeetarianism

Frisbeetarianism is a parody religion. The basic tenet is that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and you can’t get it down. A lesser known aspect is the holy event known as “The Ascension“, wherein someone comes along with a ladder and collects all the souls.

Frisbeetarianism is similar in spirit to Pastafarianism, but has not gained nearly the same popularity. It is a fairly obvious portmanteau of Presbyterianism and Frisbee; one of the most common fates for a Frisbee is to end up out of reach on a roof or other high object. However, the worst possible punishment that could happen to a frisbee is to be cracked on impact with the roof and later collected and burned. The best thing that could happen to a frisbetarian is to be collected and join the great ultimate game in the sky. This religion is most popular among players of Frisbee-related sports, such as Ultimate and Disc Golf.

Business Is Good In the Vatican

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Ever wonder where all those donated dollars go when you give money to your local church? Why to help the Vatican out in the line of business obviously!

One can only assume that these pious flights will be the safest in the world, given  that  their basically flights of god. God would surely not want to kill his strongest believers, would he?

Vatican flight service launches

A senior Vatican cardinal has inaugurated a low-cost charter flight service which aims to transport Catholic pilgrims to holy sites.

The first flight from Rome to Lourdes in France took off at 1130 (0930 GMT), using a small charter airline owned by the Italian post office.

The airline expects to transport around 150,000 pilgrims in its first year.

Flights will initially go to Catholic shrines in France, Poland, Spain as well as the Middle East.

There are plans to include Mexico in the schedule later on.

Business booming

The Vatican has signed a five-year agreement through its local travel organisation which organises pilgrimages for the Diocese of Rome.

The charter airline, called Mistral Air, normally carries courier cargo, letters and parcels for the Italian post office.

Low cost airlines are doing good business in Italy. Last year the number of passengers they transported increased by 20%.

The Vatican itself has no airline and no airport, just a helipad used by the Pope for local journeys with the Italian air force providing helicopter transport.

But Mistral Air’s two charter jets are already painted in the Vatican colours of yellow and white. Moreover, interiors are decorated with sacred inscriptions such as: “I search for your face, Lord.”

Mother Teresa – No Saint

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Not that I ever liked this showboating woman, I do find this to be a funny revelation.

Book Of Iconic Nun’s Letters Shows She Was Tormented By Her Doubts In Her Faith

In life, Mother Teresa was an icon — for believers — of God’s work on Earth. Her ministry to the poor of Calcutta was a world-renowned symbol of religious compassion. She was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

In a rare interview in 1986, Mother Teresa told CBS News she had a calling, based on unquestioned faith.

“They are all children of God, loved and created by the same heart of God,” she said.

But now, it has emerged that Mother Teresa was so doubtful of her own faith that she feared being a hypocrite, reports CBS News correspondent Mark Phillips.

In a new book that compiles letters she wrote to friends, superiors and confessors, her doubts are obvious.

Shortly after beginning work in Calcutta’s slums, the spirit left Mother Teresa.

“Where is my faith?” she wrote. “Even deep down… there is nothing but emptiness and darkness… If there be God — please forgive me.”

Eight years later, she was still looking to reclaim her lost faith.

“Such deep longing for God… Repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal,” she said.

As her fame increased, her faith refused to return. Her smile, she said, was a mask.

“What do I labor for?” she asked in one letter. “If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You also are not true.”

“These are letters that were kept in the archbishop’s house,” the Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk told Phillips.

The letters were gathered by Rev. Kolodiejchuk, the priest who’s making the case to the Vatican for Mother Teresa’s proposed sainthood. He said her obvious spiritual torment actually helps her case.

“Now we have this new understanding, this new window into her interior life, and for me this seems to be the most heroic,” said Rev. Kolodiejchuk.

According to her letters, Mother Teresa died with her doubts. She had even stopped praying, she once said.

The church decided to keep her letters, even though one of her dying wishes was that they be destroyed. Perhaps now we know why.

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